I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
