he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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