he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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