I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
