Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize