Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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