i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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