I just saw a hot homeless man
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
