i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
