So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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