It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
