He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
