So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
