Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You are a booty call, not a friend.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
