I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
