he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
