I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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