my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
