I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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