i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
