Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
