Where are you?
In a non slutty way
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
