My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
