I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
