I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
