Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
