Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
