oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
