We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
