Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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