I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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