No stitches, just platelets and will power
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
