He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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