her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
