he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
How does it feel to date your dad?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
