god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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