So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
