Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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