At least make sure they are 18
Why
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
