Say something about gay babies.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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