That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Randomize
