Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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