Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
