Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
