how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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