How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
