You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
