I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
