I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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