Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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